|c/oVEMPs cum breatharian Sissyfuss landscaping Indiana + Rode I-land in our hone backyard
7 Oct 2019 | Baltimore> Saturday we flâneured Indiana Ave for our Microcosmic DC projecto. Zo was just in Terre Haute a few days before so figgered Indiana was appropriate. For whatever reason she's gone there a few times this past yr, tho we ain't really bin, sides driving thru b-tween the west + east coast on a few occassions. In 2008 we summed her up as corn, cows + Jesus. In 2009 we tweeted dat we lost our appetite in Fatfux, Indiana. Sides dat, all Indiana conjures in our noggin is basketball. Ain't much to Indiana Ave in NW DC—a short side rode running less than a mile from the US Navy Memorial plaza in front of the Natl Arkhives to Judiciary Square, passing a bunch of courthouses + whatnot.
We kept walking after Indiana (the slight jog right above Newseum) twards Gingko nursery down in Capitol Hill. We had high hopes of getting sum cold-hardy cacti but didn't find much. Oh, while we was writing our last post (in witch we leaked a track from the album we're working on) sum tipos was tearing down our backyard fence + putting up a new 1. Weave bean holding off doing much in our backyard til we did this... now dat we got our new fence + dare's less muskeetoes (or at least we can wear pants + long sleeves w/o sweating our asses off) we're in fool-on landscaping mode. The suckulents was for the front patio planter box (there was sum bushy flowery shit we yanked up + also d-sided to putt the horsetails we stole from rock creek in our backyard where it's more boggy cuz they almost died when we was out of town for 2 weeks (another incentive for cacti/suckulents, sides the fact they attract less muskeetoes). We forgot to snap a pic for b4/after effect, bud this is what our front looks like now:
We dint find much in the way of gravel + rocks at the nursery so this mourning we hoofed it to Home D-po + figgered mayas well tick off another state-named ave in the process, Rhode Island. U might holler—hey, dat's cheating, to combine chores w/our microcosmic walks, dat it ain't true flâneuring if we got such ulterior motives—bud we never said weed follow no rules. We did cheat ourselves a bit by not quiet fallowing Rhode Island all the way to the eastern edge of D.C. cuz Home D-pot was about ¾ the way up (along w/ a Truman Show-ish shopping street called "Rhode Island Row"). We did however backtrack to the beginnning of Rhode Island NW down below Dupont circle. The 1st block was yellow-taped off by US Marshalls cuz sum archibishop was giving a special mass to the Supreme Court Justices.
Along the way we reflected on the state of Rhode Island, most notable for us as where Calamari awkwired 3rd bed back in 2008. We don't got many udder associations w/ R.I. xcept dat our brother Chaulky wint to RISD for a spell + din't The Talking Heads meat there? Lots of writers we know + published wint thru Brown + oh, ain't Rode I-land the smallest state? We cut our walk short + got a bunch of gravel + rocks at the Home D-po on Road I-land Ave, which seems a silly thing to do—buying bags of rocks to uber home with. We wanted to get sum larger rocks/boulders, for those weed feel really dump buying 'em at a store (or worse, online) so we got ourselves a new granny cart (our old 1 is busted) so we can do like Sisyphus + go down to Rock Creek + steel sum select boulders. We just ain't crazy a bout bear patches of dirt, our yard needs topography, yo.
Now we're in Bodymore for sum dr appts we skedjuled months ago, back when we was halving bad bouts of vertigo... tho now we're fine, xcept for a minor dizzy spell a few weeks ago. When we got a videony-stagmogram a few months back, we claimed we felt like Alex in Clockwork Orange... well, my little droogies, these tests (c- + o-VEMP) were even Oranger + more Clockwise. They stuck electrodes all on our neck + face, inclewding rite under the lids of me glazzies + then they took readings when we did varyus tasks like look at spots on the sealing whilst listening to noisey tones. Then more poking + prodding by varyus assistants + then finally (after a 4-month wait) to see the infamous doc who just confirmed what we suspecked all along—dat we got the Ménière's + maybe also "vestibular migraines" even tho we don't get headaches or gots inny other sintums of mygrains + vestibular mygrains don't explain our tinnitus + hearing loss in our rite ear. He suggested we buy his book (the real reason for the vestibular migraine dieagnoses, to plug his book) on Amazon + gave us a handout of all the shit we shouldn't eat—no salt, coffee, alcohol, nuts, cheese (exceptVelveeta!), bread, bagels, beans, legumes, onions, avocados, olives, citrus fruits, bananas, chocolate, etc... all the foods we dig + live off, leaving only non-edible blah, baysickly asksing us to become a breatharian. We aksed him why shd we due all this when there's bean no conclusive studies showing any of this does squat + he shrugged + admitted this was tru, dat they don't know shit about Mineareyes d-zzz, what causes her + what helps + then smuggly said that's why this pertickler field was great, cuz "70% of ppl get bedder w/o doing nothing + we get to take credit for it." Just like how we got bedder on hour one months before we even saw him. As always, going to the dockter is a big waist of time.
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