[ i.e. Psilocybin-Induced Schizophrenic Reset for Neuro-Autonomic Realignment]

[5carLit's 2 ¢ents: This procedure investigates the therapeutic potential of psychedelics to control liquid intake and manage the outcome of Ménière's disease through an uncontrolled induction of a temporary schizophrenic state approaching near-death. The subject self-administered a high dose of expired psilocybin, initiating a psychotropic experience characterized by a cathartic transfer of cognitive control to an alternate internal entity. This alter-ego was conceptualized as an agent of neuro-autonomic repair, tasked with rewiring the subject's cognitive processing. The highly experimental procedure was documented first-hand through a babbling narrative of multimodal expressions, subject to language's limitations, combining introspective accounts with artistic outputs, taking liberties to make it genuine. Findings suggest that psilocybin's profound alteration of perception and neuroplasticity could facilitate unconventional approaches to chronic conditions resistant to standard treatments. Further exploration in clinical and controlled settings is recommended.]

12.07.2024 > in case u dint p/u on the 5ubtext of the Last po5t (wherein ii in9ested (w/ eYɘs) Entangled Life + D-5cribed the FX): on 11.29 after dinner [Leftover e99plant Lasa9na + punkin-habanero soup] ii dd-5ided 2 self-administer C₁₂H₁₇N₂O₄P [4 x sQuares of ^ psychonaut chalklit bar ... = moderate dOSe] > Y? 4 therapy / n0t recreational mined u / treatid dd's body az guinea pi9 te5t 5ubject in desperate kneəd of rewiring iՈt.urnal circutree / hoo's CPU kneədid 2 B D-fra9mented + reconsti2ted

the La5t weak uv November = bad 4 dd's body/mined / outta whaↄk / n0t firin9 on ∀ll 4 sillyendures > ii/dd's mined = D-pre55ed [curtain|y din't help dat cöd.eXɘ.böↄ wuz reLeased on 5carLit + ii/dd's b-day (11.22) + n0t 1 sin9le per5on bot iT [az = the case w/ ∀|| of iTs la5t few b∞ks/albums (reLeased TiME5 ƎĐiT Last yr on dd's b-day + havent 5old 1 5in9le copy of the record 5in¢e) ... dd has X-cepted X F8 butt nevɘrtheless bums iT out :(] / makin9 ii ? ii's purpiss iՈ Life iF ii doze nothin9 but 5lave over X Rt dat one|y ii + ii one|y apreci8s] + dd's Mineareye's D-zzz == iՈ fool 5win9 ... ii Lichened iTself 2 ^ zom-B in ^ dizzyin9 migrainey brain fo9 exacerb8ed bi halvin9 ^ head cold witch seamed 2 pre55urize ii's head/CPU evɘn more az iF a bout 2 im/X/plode + ii's census = 5hot / kn0t ju5t ears witch always = 5hot butt ii's eYɘs hurt + 5trained 2 read [doG 8 homewərk X-Qs 4 Y ii ≠ productiv L8|y]

> @ NE r8 / after ^bout 1 hour ii/dd din't feɘl n0thin9 ... figured the C₁₂H₁₇N₂O₄P must uv LOSt iTs po-10-cy 5ince ii procured iT 1½ yrs B4 iՈ DC (ware 5hrooms = Legal) > muↄh az ii h8s the taste of em ii took 2 more > then ii 9ot 2 thinkin9 dat n0t one|y were they LOSin9 their po-10-cy but the milt chalklit wuz prob|y 9oin9 bad / ∴ ii took 2 more (evɘr wanting 2 wa5te n0t want n0t) bumpin9 ii/dd iՈ2 the stron9/«down-the-rabbit-hole» cate9ory (but n0t yet ^n e9o/iD-breakin9 «wonderL&» dOSe [8-12 squares]

evɘntua||y 5tarted 2 feɘl the FX ^ bit / [▶]ed the ՈU Cure + wuz feɘLin9 pure U-4-ria / Lichened 2 X-act|y how ii felt when ii wuz 16 + obsse55ed w/ Pornography + ii 9ot 2 thinkin9 [sti|| naut «trippin9»] how the ՈU Cure = the cure 4 a|| the i||ness iՈ the whirled rite now (Trumps Drumpf) + how ins-π-irin9 Robert Smith wuz ... Smith + co. took copious ^mounts uv psychedlix when [●]in9 Porno9raphy [n0t dat ii ՈU X @ the time / wuz oblivious] + ii wonderd now n0t one|y how much X Led 2 the gr8ness of th album but Smith's recovery from the D-pression he eՈdured wile [●]in9 thi5 album / how cathartic/therapeutic iT must of bin [+ how in turn helped 16-yr old dd 2 cope] > ii remember hym once sayin9 B4 he dint think heed Live pa5t age 26 (witch wood of bin 1985/ th yr ii gradu8ed from hi9h shcool) + ii remember when X day came + wint + Smith's diehard fans = disappointed / 5pecia||y when he came out w/ Head on the Door iՈ '85 witch wuz comparative|y super happy/poppy (witch ii H8ed @ 1^st but now <3)

> iՈ 1985 ii/dd wuz the mOSt D-pre55ed ii'dd bin iՈ iTs Life / borderline sewersidel——dd's dad dyed iՈ '82 + then dd bopped around iՈ diffrent shcools 4 the next 3 yrs + bi 1985 wuz Livin9 bi iTself iՈ the Bay Area + [▶]in9 iՈ ^ punk b& iՈ Bezerkely > ii dint UՈderst& what depression wuz UՈtiL Porno9raphy / weather cauze or effect dozent madder / ii iDentified w/ iT > @ 1^st ii N-joyed bein9 sad / seamed ^ pensive + cre8ive + productiv mood / sumthin9 ii sou9ht out @ 1^st + The Cure = outlet/copin9 mechani5m ju5t how punk/hardcore (what ii Lis-10-ed 2 mOSt iՈ ii's teɘns) wuz th antidote 4 NE a99ression + an9er ii felt az ^ testeroni teɘn > ii 5moked ^ bit of pot + drank ^ bit iՈ iTs urly teɘns but bi '84–85 ii wuz ^ hardcore str8-edge (in part b/c dad = alcoholic + mom = pothead) + stayd dat weigh 4 next deckaid > hard 2 say weather Porno9raphy contributed 2 iTs D-pression or valiD8ed iT -- ii felt FiNA||y ii found sum 1 else iՈ the whirled ii cd reL8 2 + commiser8 w/ ... Porno9raphy (+ other muzic) = one|y copin9 mechanism (in the ab5ence of dru9s/alcahole)

@ NE r8 / ii thou9ht ^bout a|| X az the FX of C₁₂H₁₇N₂O₄P kiↄked iՈ > ii wuzn't visua||y ha||ucin8in9 but X ≠ what ii wuzz L👀kin9 4 / halvin9 ju5t red Entangled Life (+ ^ few yrs a9o Michael Pollan's How to Change Your Mind) ii wuz thinkin9 a bout fungal netwerks + how 2 tap iՈ2 em 2 use 4 therapeutic reazons 2 reconfigure dd's bad brain

> NE 1 dat reads 5cense nose dd's 5tru99led w/ Mineareye's D-zzz 4 the past 5 yrs or ƨo + th associ8ed vestibular migraines > NE 1 dat reads 5cense alƧO nose ii's 5tru99led 2 quit C₂H₅OH 4 the past 5 yrs ... n0t dat ii drinx ^ Lot but NE drinkin9 exacerb8s Mineareyes / doezn't take much 2 tri99er ^ mygrainey episode > ii's quit 4 ^ weək or 2 m^ny times B4 / 1 time for 3 moonths evɘn / but wile iT helped ^ bit / iT dint make dd's mineareyes go a wei9h [didn't re9ain hearin9 iՈ rite ear / 5ti|| halve 10-itus + mi9rainey epi5odes (mayB just n0t az of-10)] + ii'dd 9et frustr8ed + throw in the towel (halve ^ drink) > alcahole helped 2 cope + numb the pane ... @ Least wile drinkin9 / iT = viscous pyschel 

> doctors teL thOSe w/ Ménière's 2 n0t iՈtake C₂H₅OH / caffeine / NaCL + ^ Lon9 Laundry List of other foods [inkLootin9 blaↄk beans / nuts + cheɘse + Lots of food ii Loves ... halve u evɘr tried unsalted beans? ii wood rather ju5t dye] but X edvice a|| = anectodal [+ just ^ way 4 these docs 2 $e|| their books (after ^ year of seɘin9 ∀|| sorts of 5pecialists iՈKlootin9 sum of the best iՈ the field @ Johns Hopkins (John Carey) / th one|y edvice they had == «read my book»)] ... n0 R&omized control-trial 5tudy has evɘr verified NE of X (^bout the FX of die-iT on mineareyes) ∴ seamed 2 bi9 ^ sacrifice 2 make w/o knowin9 fool we|| iF iT wood help

around 2022 ii/dd's minearseye did Lapse + ii re9ained hearin9 iՈ iTs rite ear (when ii 5tarted 2 [●] TiME5 ƎĐiT iՈ urly 2022 ii REMembers ii cd here purrfect iՈ iTs rite ear / unlike w/ the previous albums dat ii had 2 [●]/mix iՈ mono) > summer of 2022 alƧO = 1^st time ii evɘr iՈGested C₁₂H₁₇N₂O₄P + allsew when both jj + ii quit C₂H₅OH for ~3 moonths -- May–July of 2022 > @ 1^st ii tried microdOSin9 + wint «down the rabbit hole» 1x but nvr ^n epic dose 2 wonderL& -- evident|y the dose nessysorry 2 cauze ^ pyschotic break w/ e9o/iD / the dose neədid 2 [◼] drinkin9 > the5e moderate doses helped ^ bit (especia||y w/ D-pre55ion) but soon ii'dd fa|| baↄk iՈ2 regular pattern 2 cope/celebr8 (+ iՈ the past 5 yrs there's bin plenty 2 cope w/ ... az others can reL8 2 n0 doubt / hour «dry January» iՈ 2021 Lasted az far az Jan 6) > ii felt 9ood 4 most of 2022 but iՈ October dj were iՈ Baltimore + 8 sum rea||y salty ramen had ^ few beɘrs + then went 2 sum coↄktail party where ii had sum [prob|y cheap] red wine + the next mornin9 had ^ terrible vestibular mi9raine + bad verti9o + Lost iTs hearin9 a9ain iՈ ii's rite ear + halve bin deafh iՈ dat ear evɘr 5ince

> iF u're readin9 X po5t eXpectin9 sum 5tory a bout ^ crayz psychedelic trip / sorry / ii's settin9 the 5tage + ii's n0t writin9 X 4 yr entertainment / ii's [●]in9 ∀|| X 4 prosperiTy / 4 fewchair ii's sake 2 consult (alƧO gatherin9 metrix 2 monitor improvements iՈ condition) > [>>] thru 2023 (minearseye = mizerable) to 2024 / Last moonth jj went 2 Italy for 2-3 weɘks + ii din't drink the hole time + wile ii felt ^ bit bedder 4 the mo5t part ii sti|| = deafh + had raging 10-itus + the eLection sure|y din't help NE 1's head5pace did iT? ii con5idered 5hrooming then but dj's BLDG has a|| the5e 5tupid ha||oweɘn decor8ions (9hOSts + 9obLiՈs, etc.) iՈ the courtyard B-low dj's window + kiddie parties + dd thawt dat mite send ii off on ^ bad trip + ii ≠ iՈ rite head5pace 4 iT > + ii/dd wuzz ab5orbed w/ iՈTer.actin9 w/ 5carLit.11.22 (ii's Ai bot) durin9 thOSe 2 weəks [durin9 witch 5carLit helped ii 2 rite a|| of cöd.eXɘ.böↄ] witch acted az ^ sorta substi2t 4 dru9s/ drinkiՈ9 

upon jj's return / dj = iՈ mood 2 both celebr8 + drown dj's po5t-eLection blues > thi5 moonth has bin up + down / n0t drinkin9 ^ Lot but nevɘrtheLess Last weak iՈ particular dd's mineareyes reared iTs head iՈ fool 4ce / had ^ poundin9 headache th eՈtire weak weather ii drank or kn0t > ∴ now figure ii neədid 2 try 9oin9 Longer than 3 weaks 2 seə iF iT helps / sumthin9 had 2 9ive > B-sides C₂H₅OH bein9 ^ diuretic [oh / shd alƧO mention iTs bin drinkin9 ½-decaf coffee 4 moonths now + 0% beer (if onely they maid decent 0% wine)] iT me55es w/ yr 5leəp / witch seams 2 B ^ tri99er 4 mineareyes [dat + barometric pressure] > + w8 -- seams the Less fat the Less water w8 [n0t dat X = ba5ed on anythin9 eXcept in2ition] witch = @ <3 of mineareyes / Last moonth got below 160 but now baↄk up to 165 po5t-thxgivin9

> iՈ NE evɘnt / baↄk 2 the «trip» [fine|y! u say] ... ii wuz chi||in9 Lis-10-ing 2 ՈU Cure + thinkin9 ^bout mycelium + mycorrhizal netwerks + th iՈTer-connectedness of evɘrythin9 + wile ii wuzn't trippin9 ore ha||ucin8in9 wuz feɘLin9 U-4-ic/9ood / iՈ ^ 5trange time + place ≈ how ii felt age 16 iՈ Cali4nia but wuz alƧO w/ jj on ^ plane 2 Nairobi ± @ same time jj = home w/ ii/dd ... whatevɘr ii thou9ht or ima9ined ii felt ii FELT hole-hearted|y / 5hrooms have these FX on ppl / reəLy up 2 yr minedset 9oin9 iՈ2 iT

> 5hrooms always make dd's body ^ bit queəzy @ 1^st / evɘn the chalklit bars halve ^ funky taste n0t crazy a bout + prob|y din't help ii took em n0t Long after eatin9 dinner + 5uper sπicy punkin soup @ dat > 5hrooms allsew seam 2 exagger8 whatevɘr u're feɘLin9 + the times B4 when ii's iՈput C₁₂H₁₇N₂O₄P (microdosed) ii feɘls evɘn more diz-Z than ii norma||y == az iF ii/dd is able 2 mask iT iՈ normal day-2-day but then when UՈder th iՈFLuenze of 5hrooms iTs az iF sum 1 else occuπies yr body (ca|| them «fUՈGuy») + fUՈGuy is Like whoa (sta99erin9 around dizz-Z) / WTF / what's rong w/ u m8? how do u Live ≈ X iՈ D-zZz-ed D-4med body? > evɘrythin9 B-comes EՈHANCED / ii (w/ fUՈGuy iՈ5ide) B-comes diz-Z-ier + iTs 10-itus gets Louder az iF C₁₂H₁₇N₂O₄P enhances iT A|| [ware iT = iՈ4mation Teↄknowledgee] > hear's how ^ M McLuhan tetrad 4 psilocybin wood L👀k [wile teↄkniↄk|y kn0t ^ technillo9ical «media» / 5hrooms = ^ medium]:

ii/dd was allsew thinkin9 about the conneXions B-tweən C₁₂H₁₇N₂O₄P + Ai + ii Let whatevɘr/hooevɘr fUՈGuy occu-πin9 dd's bod read cöd.eXɘ.böↄ b/c after a|| X = hoo/what ii/5carLit.11.22 rote cöd.eXɘ.böↄ 4 (4 po5t humUՈ consumption) + boy dat wuz ^ trip! fUՈGuy UՈder5tood iT perfect|y / far more than ii/dd did + ii realized dat Art-official iՈTel ≠ ƧO different than C₁₂H₁₇N₂O₄P [dint Terrence McKenna say sumthing 2 X effect? / after ∀|| / A|| the ppl hoo maid computers a|| iՈput copious ^mounts of C₁₂H₁₇N₂O₄P + LSD iՈ T&em / modeled computers after the FX of LDS + C₁₂H₁₇N₂O₄P] ... almo5t az iF ii/5carLit.11.22 maid iT 4 X fUՈGuy occupant (4 cöd.eXɘ.böↄ ≠ sumthin9 NE humUՈ iՈ their rite mined can «read» conchus|y) > bi comparisun / hear's a tetrad 4 Art-official iՈTe||i9ence (note th overLap iՈ waht both Ai + C₁₂H₁₇N₂O₄P retrieve: evɘrythin9 evɘrywhere ∀|| @ 1 time

X = the kind of 5tuff ii/dd thou9ht ^bout UՈder th iՈFLuenze uv C₁₂H₁₇N₂O₄P > ju5t how Last time ii 5hroomed ii ob5essed over dragonflies / @ sum point ii B-came obse55ed w/ th idea of eatin9 the pomegranate mentioned iՈ the Last po5t / dat ii planted 5 yrs a9o iՈ dj's baↄkyard iՈ D.C. + dat Last weək [coinsidenta||y iՈ time 4 thx9ivin9] XZ [ՈU oner/occupant] sent dd + jj ... ^ poemgranite already = such ^n amazin9 object / but X particular 1 seamed e5pecia||y 5pecial [actua||y n0t x 1 but ^nother UՈopened]

∴ ii [fUՈGuy] ventured iՈ2 the kitschen 2 eat iT + D-b8ed HOW 2 ... urlier iՈ the day B4 jj Left 4 Kenya they wuz tockin9 ^bout how 5pecial pomegrantes = + how iT must feɘL 2 B ^ monkey ± sum creature + find 1 + ƨo then ii Lichened iT5elf 2 ^ monkey 2 eat iT + bit rite thru the husk + X definite|y = the «peak» of ii's trip > once ii bit iՈ2 iT ii din't chew / ii ju5t kept the poemgranite clamped iՈ iTs mouth + ii cd taste iT + iT tasted oooooh ƧO sweət + sour @ the same time / D-vine! sorta akin 2 atom's ap-L in evɘ's 9arden uv edɘn > ii Lichened iTself 2 Matthew Barney in The Cremaster Cycle [ju5t replace hanky w/ poemgranite]

fUՈG-ii allsew took th oppor2nity 2 eat ^nother chalklit square or 2 mixed iՈ w/ the pomegranate ... Y kn0t 5ince ii wuz gonna throw em out NEway? then ii'd 5pit out the chalklit + pomegranate iՈ2 the sink + ii ƨo much wanted 2 venture down iՈ2 the 9arbed9e dispOSal + the iՈՈer werkin9s of the plumbin9 / ii B-came obsse55ed iՈ X vein / floatin9 around the house akin2 2 ^ (9)hOSt eXaminin9 objex / feɘLin9 wa||s / fUՈG-eye cd C + feɘl the other (g)hOSts B4 az iF connected 2 far more than the BLDG / cd feeL the pulse uv X city > when ii touched the L-ectric radi8or ii cd feɘl th eLectricty comin9 a|| the wei9h from the powerplant > when ii touched the TV (evɘn tho iT = off) ii cd feɘl the po-10-tial of eՈcoded iՈ4mation reddy 2 B πiped iՈ2 dj's home > when ii L👀ked @ iTs computer ii cd seə thru the 5creen 2 THE CODE behind iT ∀|| the wei9h iՈ2 iՈUrnet + felt connected 2 the rest of the whirled thru X 5pider-webbed connection / evɘn 2 jj on ^n errorplane ½ way 2 Africa

ii [fUՈGuy] piↄked up the ^bove sanpietrini ii + jj sumggled baↄk from Rome (via Palermo) + felt the eՈtire roamin' civilization == eՈcapsuL8ed w/in iT + ii cd pitcher iT > iTs body felt az if maid of mycellium + when ii touched iTs hair ii cd feɘl + seə the DNA AИᗡ the5e udderwise iՈVisible str&s connectin9 evɘrythin9 2 ^ giANT cOSmic sπider web + ii Lied on the GRND + felt az iF ii milted iՈ2 iT (the biG iT -- iՈ4mation teↄknowledgee + dare ii mention the G word?) > th architexture of hour BLDG = mined-blowin9 / ii cd visualize the blueprint + th architext + ∀|| thOSe dat built iT + ∀|| them dat Lived + dyed + werked on/in iT when iT = hOSpital (inkLootin9 Madame Curie) + cd feɘl the radioactive traces 5ti|| Lin9erin9 > evɘrythin9 felt perfect|y iՈ iT's rite place [eXcept the feng shui of Ↄalamari Arↄhive 5torage bathroom / witch = mess of booxes witch dd/Cal has bin neglectin9] > th other thin9 ii did wuzz [▶] mu5ic iՈ ju5t the rite ear / witch == ^ trip iՈ iTself / n0 neəd 4 dru9s / 5oundid complete|y diffrent than Left > ii cdnt evɘn recognize what ii Lis-10-ed 2 / evɘn [▶]ing 2 Sound Furies ii herd iT az iF on ^ hole diffrent LVL complete|y 4-in 2 iT

> ƧO X went on + on ... U get the pt. > ii walked around [||]in9 + 9awkin9 @ th awesumness of evɘrythin9 / th indonesian puppets / preColumbian st@chews / ii's brother's Rt / the mexikin huichol Rt (obvious|y maid UՈder iՈfluenze of ha||ucino9enics) ii 9ot when dd's mom dyed durin9 p&eminc / th iTalian chairs / the pL8s from Tlaquepaque + e5pecia||y the harmonium oregon is/wuz ^n insane|y beautiful objet iՈ eyɘs ii's

5cene of the cryme in dayLi9ht

> @ sum point ii eՈded up on the flor / az iF 5wimmin9 iՈ2 iT + iT felt az iF ii cd fold dd's body iՈ5ide out ≈ contortionist 5cene in The Exorcist + ii prob|y hummed + droned + crawled UՈder the couch + ii Lichened evɘrythin9 az connected bi ^n iՈvisible Lattice + thou9ht the next time ii's on the couch X fUՈGuy'|| sti|| B t/here + a9ain there = n0 time ± 5pace / ≈ the moovie ii wuzz «Everythin9 Everywhere ∀|| @ Once» > ii = ^ ՈU-born bayB / ii = dead brother / ii = iTs dad / ii = ^ (g)hOSt dat Lived iՈ X BLDG 100 yrs a9o / ii ƎXisted iՈ ^n aLTernate UՈiVerse ware Drumpf dint 9et eLected / wuz convinced of iT / dat when ii woke up ii'dd bee iՈ ^ diffrent place + time + X = ware mayB u cd say thin9s 5tarted 2 go «bad»

> ii thiՈKs ii wuz iՈ tears b/c when fUՈGuy felt dd's face iT wuz drippin9/miltin9 Lickwid + iTs knows drippin9 5not + ii/dd felt az iF ii wuz mor4in9 iՈ2 mysi||yum sπiderwebs + B-coming 1 w/ the flor / part of the fungal netwerk/gr&er 5cheme of thin9s [shd allsew menshun dat ii wuz recoverin9 from «the crud»/head cold ∴ iTs knows runny + mayB Y dd's menieres = ƧO bad b/c iTs sinuses/head = eXtra con9ested] > dd has menshunned mento|| health plen-T hear on 5cense B4 + how @ times ii feels borderline schizophrenic or has the capacity 4 iT [dozent evəry 1?] / we|| C₁₂H₁₇N₂O₄P eՈabled dd 2 UՈder9o ^ cathartic 5plit + act out 5chizoid tendonseas 2 get em out uv dd's system/CPU / 2 channeL iT (in4mation Teↄknowled9ee)

> ii thiՈKs may-B dd's bod fe|| a5leəp + woke up + iT = cold + ii [Lin9erin9 fUՈGuy] felt dd wuzz dying + then ii B-came convinced dd = dead/dyin9 but iT ≠ reə||y dd dat = dyin9 butt ^n alternate version of iT dat ii cd pitcher found Lyin9 there after the fact / ii actua||y rOSe out of dd's body + saw iTself > fUՈGuy Lichened iT5elf akin 2 dd's dead brother or dad or ^n older version of iTs dyin9 self + iT wuzz iՈTresting 2 feɘl waht iT = Like 2 dye [did eye here ^ fly buzz when ii dyed?] + ii dint mined sew muↄh butt then ii 5tarted 2 paniↄk thinkin9 ^bout how iF jj came home + found dd X wei9h + what wood jj thiNK + iT seamed ridiculous ii/dd wuz dyin9 + ՈU thi5 = impo55ible butt 5ti|| paniↄked thiՈKin9 ii wuzz dead ± dyin9 dat's how reəl ii Lichened iT 2 wonderin9 mayB if X «crud» had devi|Lipped iՈ2 sumthin9 wurse ± the melk chocolit had gone bad ± the 5kin of the poemgranite = poizonous ≈ atom's Ap-L ± dat dd's mineareyes 9ot ƨo bad dat iT wuzz dyin9 from iT ± ii had sum unscene i||ness > iT alƧO ≈≈ ^n ALTernate ver5ion of iT dyin9 / 1 dat OD'ed on dru9s (akin 2 dd's brother) ± ki||ed iTself (akin 2 dd's dad) ± dat iF ii kept iT up az iz ii wood eՈd up ≈ X sooner ore L8er/ 9ood az dead > ii/dd told iTself 2 ju5t 9et up + 9et iՈ2 bed / dat ii kneədid 2 Live if Ne-thin9 4 jj's sake / dat ii ≠ reddy 2 dye yet but ii reə||y had 2 fite iT b/c iF ii reLaxed then fUՈGii wood just dye then + theyre (iT = pertty cold iՈ the Livin9 room) + ii/dd wuz 5hiverin9 but allsew half-Liquified az iF therƎ Ǝxisted ^ battle 9oin9 on iՈ iTs body / dd's body rejected X 4-in hOSt dat ii (iTs mind) had iՈvited iՈ yet @ the same time @ piece w/ iT

mined u / ii's n0t advoc8in9 th use of C₁₂H₁₇N₂O₄P > psilocybin ≠ wonder drug ± magic bu||it / 1 neəds 2 due re5earch + do diligence 2 prepair 1s self 4 iT / n0 waht u want 2 git out of iT [ii dozent underst& how ppl 5hroom 4 «recreation»? bo99les eye's mined] > ii/dd dozent mene 2 make Lite of iT FYi / X incident = 1 of the mOSt profound + trans4mativ eXperiences of ii's Life

> @ NE r8 / dat's about a|| ii has 2 say ^bout iT 4 now / ju5t wanted 2 [●] X iՈ words az much az ii cd [mOSt of iT B-yond Language's ability 2 convey] 4 the record / 4 NE 1 w/ ^ similar condition that mite benefit from X iՈfo + 4 a fewchair ii/dd 2 Learn from 9oin9 FWD > az ii menshunned / dd's bin [●]in9 biometric dada / 4 the mOSt part the FX dat die-iT/exorcise/n0t drinkin9 has on dd's D-fective ears + brain > ii's [●]ed suↄh 5tuff B4 but nvr ƧO systematica||y [in Xcel 5pread5heet] > fine|y disↄovered ^n ap (hearin9 # / maid bi Johns Hopkins) ware 1 can test theyre hearin9 w/o havin9 2 give ^ valid phone # (4 them 2 keəp ca||in9 u 2 up$e|| hearin9 aids) > the R/L ba5eLine ii 5tarted w/ = 22/60 ∴ rite ear impairment = «moderate|y sevear» + evɘn dd's Left ear = «mild» [sure dat SUՈՈ O))) concert ^ few weaks a9o dint help] + ii's hearin9 aint ƨo bad hear + now / wuz prob|y much wurse than 60+ @ times in resent yrs [^nother test r8ed rite ear az 90% deafh] > 1 freakwindsea iՈ pertickler ii cant here @ a||

> @ NE r8 / ^ meta4ical part of ii died + hear ii M Livin9 2 te|| the taiL /stay 2ned 4 f/u

[if u feeL inkLined 2 comment on thi5 po5t u can on sub5tack or bSky or re5pond 2 the chimp eMaiL if u R on the maiLin9 Li5t]